Wednesday, May 10, 2017

Uncharted Waters

I sit in my office chair, feeling my unborn daughter move and kick and press against me (sorry Mommy has a small torso baby girl), reading pregnancy, parenting, and birth blogs. Anxiously and not so patiently trying to get through these next few weeks by reading, writing, and trying to find the funnier and lighter side of posts because, lets face it, we all know what is possible and I do not wish to worry about that right now. I want to read about the 4 am sleep walking and eating a pop tart because it just couldn't wait 3 more hours until the alarm went off. I want to hear about getting excited about balancing a cup or a plate on your belly for the first time. (Totally happened recently! :-) )

I am nervous and excited and antsy and a million different things. When will she be here? Will I go early? Will I go late? Will I have a short or long labor? Will my mom be able to get on a plane in time?

Oh-so many questions and it's hard when your family lives 1100 miles away in Arizona. I'm also working all the way up until my due date (Half days starting the 30th of this month). Which is helpful and at least if I go into labor at work, we are super close to the hospital and I have an amazing support system with my coworkers.

The reason I can't stop thinking about it, relax, and just enjoy the remainder of my pregnancy... When, where, and how are all out of my control. This is unknown, uncharted, waters I am entering here and I am scared.

Tuesday, May 9, 2017

Maybe theres a way?

"Just stay home with her, it's much cheaper than spending money on child care."

A phrase all expectant moms have heard at some point. And if it was an option I would gladly stay home with my little girl! Yes, I am all too familiar with the cost of child care. I worked in Day Cares for 5 years and now I work for a company who helps parents who can't afford child care with scholarships. Now here is the kicker... I can't afford child care either! Just in the eyes of the state of Montana, you can't make more than $2520 GROSS a month for a family of three and still qualify for child care assistance. Which is just ridiculous and needs to be reevaluated considering the average cost of rent out here is about $1100.

Also, if your household runs like mine does, my check matters. My husband makes a decent amount but not nearly enough to cover all of our bills, plus groceries and things of that nature, all on his own. Yet ONE of my paychecks is the cost of child care for an infant. So what is a working mom to do? Work a second job? But then I miss my child growing up. Stay home? Well, then we won't have insurance. And there is never a "right time" to have a child, they are expensive regardless of timing and we are a blue collar family.

I have been given the opportunity to become a part of a healthy living company. Which I can do on top of my current 8-5, as well as sharing the joy of these products by helping people switch to chemical free cleaning, lotions, soaps, and all and all healthier life styles because this company offers everything!

I've never been the type of person who can blindly follow anything. There are things that I love and would recommend in a heart beat and there are things that I don't care for and don't find them to be special. Yet the key to selling (I guess) is to act like this is the best thing on God's green Earth and that you are crazy if you don't have it in your life. Yeah... I won't do that. But I can tell you if I back something up, you can take that straight to the bank!

And I will tell you this... It's WAY cheaper than stores, great for moms that try and avoid taking their littles to the store, and it's stuff you buy anyway! Just with the convenience of being brought to your door step. Every one is on a healthy living kick; so why not continue with products you would normally buy?

So stay tuned, keep reading, and if you're curious send me your email!

Monday, May 8, 2017

Odd Thoughts of a New Mom

So I suppose my title doesn't match my current involvement with Motherhood, although it will in the near future. My thoughts aren't all that "Odd Yet" but lack of sleep has become a new "symptom" of pregnancy, so I do promise that my thoughts will get odder. In the mean time I am getting up 5 - 6 times a night to pee, get a drink, or see what my cat wants me to see at 4 am... Stealing all of my hubby's pillows to keep elevated so I can breathe and also so I wont throw up everywhere, yay acid reflux!

Now my not-so-odd thought from my hospital adventure on Saturday is as follows:

They showed me that lovely little chart of what dilation looks like; ATM I appear to be the size of a... Fruit Loop? Not quite Cheerio and not quite Live Saver so I suppose Fruit Loop works. Now I'm staring at this chart now wondering why I don't remember learning about where exactly the cervix is...

"Did they teach that in Health Class? Was I sick that day? Why don't I know this?!"
As well as
"Why does the one they want me to get to look so big and scary? Like a doughnut?! How big is my baby's head? How the hell do I push a head out of me? What if her head is bigger than that doughnut hole?"
This is terrifying and I have about 30 something days left to freak out about it. So I've got that going for me. I also freaked out my husband when he came home from work and the entire apartment EVERY. SINGLE. ROOM. and square inch was scrubbed, washed, bleached, cleaned, vacuumed, dusted, and the clothes, blankets, sheets were all washed. I heard him udder the phrase "Who are you and what did you do with my wife?" As I was standing in the closet hanging up clothes. I can see his confusion... I despise folding and hanging clothes. It hurts my back, it's time consuming, and all in all just plain unnecessary. I'm just going to take them all down tomorrow when I can't decide what to wear and try each shirt I own on. But it had to be done. And I felt much better knowing that everything was fresh and clean and ready for the work week. Some call it nesting... I just call it Sunday Cleaning.

I Hate Waiting!

Image result for i hate waiting princess bride

On Saturday at 34 weeks +1 day, I began feeling a horrible aching in my lower back. No position I changed to, no amount of heat applied, NOTHING helped to relieve it. After 2 hours of it coming and going I decided to call the Doctor. I went in and of course the pain stopped! Great... Thanks... Why is that a thing? I swear I was in pain all that morning! And now suddenly I'm OK, just tired. And Ryleigh is healthy and happy and wiggling around trying to get comfortable.

They came to the conclusion that it is probably kidney stones... And found out I'm also dilated about 1.5 cm. Well, that's good to know. I believe I have entered the part of first time pregnancy where every pain, new symptom, or lack of movement from my girl, will cause me to freak out and want to go into the doctor. Better safe than sorry I suppose.

We still have 6 weeks to go until my due date. And thankfully I am now having DR appointments every week. That does ease my anxiety a bit however, now I am curious about labor. And like the cable guy we can expect she will be here any time between 10 am today through the end of June. :-)


It's nearing the end of October. Our move is in exactly ONE MONTH! In one month I need to pack, clean, sell, organize, prioritize... And...